I have lived with my parent and I have lived alone. I have experienced what it means to move out of your parent’s house. It can be scary but rewarding.
Don’t be moved by the hype. Living alone is not for the fainthearted. The street is not smiling.
Don’t leave your parent’s house because of your age. There is no particular age to leave your parent’s house.
Don’t leave your parent house to prove your maturity Living with your parent does not make you immature and staying alone does not make shows you are mature.
Except if privacy to you means having the freedom to flirt around and live like a sheep without a shepherd, don’t leave your parent’s house because you want privacy. That is a stupid thing to do.
Don’t feel jealous of all your friends moving out of their parent’s house. Jealousy is not a strong reason to leave home.
- I had a prior plan
Before I graduated from the university, I knew that I didn’t want to go back home after school. It was not a spontaneous decision.
Although living alone and handling responsibilities may get you ready for the future, you should not rush out of your parent’s house without a plan. Life is unforgiving for the unprepared.
2. I was earning enough money
When I was living alone, I was earning money as a full-time teacher, a private tutor, an event photographer, and a freelance writer.
Leaving your parent’s house to live alone should not be an emotional decision. No matter the see finish that you may be facing, if you are not financially ready to be responsible, sit down and endure. Freedom is expensive.
If you are not earning enough to cater for yourself comfortably, don’t leave your parent’s house yet. If you look malnourished after leaving home, you most likely cannot cater for yourself yet.
Hunger is no respecter of persons. You will understand why the prodigal son returned to his father’s house.
3. I enjoyed personal time
Unending domestic chores in your parent’s house may hinder you from having time for personal growth. Except you have a sibling with whom you can rotate errands., you may begin to consider moving out of your parent’s house, or else you may spend the prime of your youth running errands.
One of the great benefits of solitude is that you discover yourself. It affords you the free space to get to know who you are. Leaving alone helped me to find my way faster.
The world is noisy. You may need to live alone to hear your inner voice. Whatever I am today started from times I was alone. There is power in solitude.
4. I paid my bills
For the first time in my life, I paid house rent, and utilities and bought foodstuffs.
It helped me to appreciate the effort of my parent more. How our parents were able to cater for the family even with their little income is a wonder.
During the COVID-19 lockdown, I was not receiving any salary. Yet, I had to pay for utilities every month. My landlady was an Ijesha woman. She does not listen to excuses.
I hate the embarrassment of my landlady knocking on my door. I try to avoid it at all costs.
5. I learnt to manage my time
Living with parents makes many things easy for you if you are working because after you get home, everything else is mostly taken care of by family or division of labour.
When you live alone, you will always come back to meet your things exactly the way you left them. Nobody will ask you to wash your dishes or clean your toilet.
For a busy person like me who does not eat out, hunger dealt with me mercilessly. I learnt to squeeze out time to cook my food.
6. I learnt to manage my life
When you live alone, you will learn to stay away from trouble as much as possible. Except you have a monthly budget for police bail.
7. I made my own rules
When you stay under the roof of your parents, they may monitor your movement.
It may be difficult to invite your friends over to your parent’s house, but when you stay alone, you can turn your house into a guesthouse. Howbeit, you can make your own rules too.
8. I was still accountable
Although I was living alone, I was still accountable to someone. Funny. Right? I was accountable to my landlord and neighbours. Common sense demands that someone should know your whereabouts.
9. I took care of myself in sickness
When you pay your medical bills, you learn to take care of your health better. I hate giving my hard-earned money to doctors and nurses to treat me.
I spend a significant part of my income whenever I fall ill. So, it was wise for me to prevent falling ill.
The craziest part of living alone is that when you fall ill, you have no one to take care of you. You have to take yourself to the clinic, cook your food, and still do your domestic chores.
10. I was lonely often
Living alone can send you to depression faster. You will realize that you have not said a word in 8 hours. Lonely people die slowly.
Leaving alone without a steady income will mess up your mental health.
You may not realize that staying with your parent saves you from a lot of issues that you may not realize until you experience them yourself.
Besides the financial support, parents give emotional support too.
11. I missed fun moments and family time
I can never forget that Christmas day when I decided not to travel home until 27th December. While my neighbours were intimidating me with the aroma of jollof rice and chicken, I was indoors pressing my phone.
I could afford to cook also but I was busy with work. Besides, some meals are best eaten together with families and loved ones. It was not about the food but the ecstasy of family time.
12. The decision to leave your parent’s house depends on your parent.
If your parent does not see you as a financial burden, don’t move out yet. If your parents are not complaining and asking you to leave the house, stay there till you are financially ready to leave.
Your parent may never tell you directly, but if they give you subtle hints consistently, it’s time to move out. If your parents are toxic, consider moving out to save your mental health.
Everyone has an unfair advantage. For some, their unfair advantage is their wealthy parents. A friend of mine whose father owns two big houses in Ibadan and Ile-Ife relocated to Ibadan and lives in his father’s house. Cost of rent saved!
If your wealthy parents can accommodate you, even though you are earning money, that is a plus for you. Save and invest your money. I know a lady who saved her income to buy land while in her father’s house.
If your parent’s house is spacious enough for you to live comfortably, enjoy yourself there till your time comes to leave.
13. The decision to leave your parent’s house depends on you.
If you are planning to get married soon, you should move out of your parent’s house so that you can begin to have your own household items.
Every parent is ready to spoon-feed you till you die. If you feel like you are being babied, you may need to move out to learn how to survive independently.
14. The decision to leave your parent’s house depends on your workplace.
If your place of work is close to your parent’s house, why do you have to rent an apartment elsewhere?
However, if you live in the same city as your parent but your workplace is very far, move out and get a space for yourself.
15. The decision to leave your parent’s house depends on your finance.
That you have finished your NYSC does not qualify you to leave alone. You are just seeking your own path and figuring out life. You need all the financial support you can get until you have a strong foothold.
If you are a student still depending on your parent, go back home after school. Stop loitering around like a refuge all in the name of “I want to be independent.” Why do you have to subject yourself to such torture when you have a better option in your parent’s house?
Why squat with a friend when you can conveniently live with your parent? Some friends are best loved from afar. Living with a roommate can be a monster experience at times.
16. You can always return home temporarily
If you have just lost your job and aren’t sure of your next move, return home. If you cannot keep up with the cost of living away from home, swallow your pride and return home temporarily till you can get back on your feet again.
You have the final decision to make.
© Kingsley Ndimele
Your Reliable Consultant